Positive Vibes

It's nice when you hit your stride. Now that I feel really comfortable with my students as a whole, I am getting to know them on a more personal level. The resume/interview block day class was a success. One student from first period even returned during fifth. I asked her why she was there and she told me, "today's class was really good. I want to do it again." That's a moment I won't ever forget.

Now I am working on wrapping things up -- my juniors are reading Catcher and we are having an awesome time with it. I have so many resources and ideas that I have to be selective with what I teach. It's a really nice feeling. Unfortunately for my seniors, Siddhartha is a bit more tricky; with a handful of mundane resources, I am doing a lot of creating. I can't get lazy, though -- I planned a lot of cool stuff with The Stranger and my seniors are counting on me! So here are the lessons I am excited to teach:

-- I will present this novel more as a window and mirror than a closed book. I intend to inspire students to use it as a tool of reflection.

--After reading most chapters, students will journal. The prompt will always ask students to reflect on their personal lives. Of course, the prompt will also compliment what is going on in Siddhartha's life. For instance: Reflect! Siddhartha says he has “become distrustful of teaching and learning.” You have been in school for more than 12 years; can you relate to Siddhartha’s mentality? Why or why not?

--Nearly half-way through the novel I will lecture on the Hero's Journey. This way, students can engage in a problem-solving based activity where they chart Siddhartha's journey so far.

--We will analyze songs or other pieces of writing inspired by the novel.

And so on and so forth. Still, I am quite hungry for more exciting activities. Advice is welcome!

Outside Interview

The last two weeks before spring break were awesome; I had cracked the code and solved the mystery of teaching seniors. My seniors were laughing with me, writing better, and actually reading the novel (wow!). My standing at the door and greeting them made them smile, and I was learning more about their hobbies, pasts, and aspirations.

However, spring break has come and gone. Now my juniors and seniors seem to have a case of spring fever, senioritis, and I-don't-know-what. I have noticed more attitudes and unhappiness among students. Today, as students were working on a thesis workshop, I took one student outside for an "interview." I started things off by complimenting him to set the tone positively. I then explained to him why his behavior was inappropriate. We talked some more and then I asked him how I could help him. His response was "I don't know, now you probably don't like me." This made me so sad.

"Of course I like you!" I told him! I was unsure if his confession was an act of manipulation or an admission, but I wasn't willing to risk it. I explained to him that I wouldn't take the time to talk to him like this if I didn't care. It made me sad though because I think that teaching is all about caring. If there is anything I can hang my hat on at the end of the day, it is that I truly care about my students and their successes and struggles. But I can't feel good knowing that even one student might think I don't care about him.

With that said, I am on a mission to make sure that every student knows it. I had my students write a journal describing their spring breaks (don't worry -- it was standards driven, too. They used metaphors, similes, personification, and imagery). I spent a few hours writing detailed comments on every journal. I wrote several questions as well. As I passed back the journals, many students answered my questions with excitement and enthusiasm. It worked.

Tomorrow is a new day and I cannot wait to teach: I am devoting the block day to a resume workshop! I am going to discuss some of my stories (and snafoos) with job interviews and resumes. Another way to show your students you care? Tell them an embarassing story about yourself. Hey -- at least it gets their attention.

The Good, the Bad, and the Very, Very Ugly

This teaching thing is hard! I had everything figured out last semester with my juniors, but some senior girls have attitudes like you have never seen! Of course, the boys are troublesome in their own ways. I just need to catch my breath and find my focus. Bear with me.

The Good:
-One student asked me, "are you going to be one of those teachers who works us bell-to-bell?" Yes. I am relieved to know that my actions alone have conveyed this.

-Today many students were shocked to receive their work back with comments -- one girl even thanked me for it. It made me feel really, really good.

-On Monday I had one of those "teachable moments." The topic of conversation veered away from what I had planned, but it was still relevant and the kids were totally engaged. It was one of those "yessss" moments.

The Bad:
-Talking! My cooperating teacher lets his students choose their seats. First period--41 students total--is always abuzz with gossip and laughter. I love that they are friends, but I cannot get them to quiet down! When I stop talking and wait, they will just keep talking or take too long to figure things out. Keeping them after class is not an option because I teach another class in a different room the next period. Today I told first period that I thought it was a matter of respect, and that since they are adults they should be respectful. It worked...okay. They are still kids in so many ways. I am thinking of a clever way to threaten them...perhaps giving them assigned seating would shake things up. It is hard doing things your way and still honoring your cooperating teacher. I cannot wait until I can set the tone in my classroom!

-I need to work on my wait time. This is nothing new. I must start pinching myself or something when I jump in. I get too excited. I am writing "WAIT TIME" on all of my lesson plans until this mission is accomplished.

The Ugly:
-Attitudes are a huge problem! A handful of students glare throughout the entire lesson. My attempts to reach out to them individually have not proved to help as of yet. Compliments and smiles are my biggest weapon right now. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I have been known to kill bad attitudes with kindness.

Existentialism in Thirty Minutes--Wow!

So I just finished up my first week of teaching seniors. This week tested my nerves in more ways than I can possibly say. However, I can say with confidence that I came out on top. And, I am a little bit tougher, too.

I was mostly nervous about Friday: we are reading The Stranger and I wanted to give my students some insight into existentialism. This way, they might feel more compassion towards the misunderstood and maybe-mundane Meursault. I didn't want to lecture them, so I broke them up into groups and asked them to share everything they knew about the word. Many students looked at the prefix "Ex" and thought about "existence" and "exit." Then I gave each group a cartoon (this was the fun part). Students made predictions about the message of the cartoon and what it said about existentialism. After that we took very brief notes followed by a quick and fun quiz -- "Are YOU an existentialist?" I was shocked to see so many students engaged by this, but I shouldn't have been. Of course connecting the philosophy to their lives and personal belief systems would make the lesson more engaging.

But I still haven't hit my stride or sweet spot with this class. Many of them are extremely disillusioned with school and counting down the minutes until graduation. I just need to keep chugging for now. Every day is a challenge, but luckily for me I like challenges. Now that the transitional period is over, I am eager to see how they act. I will keep updating.

First Day of my First Unit

Tomorrow will be my first day of teaching two reluctant and sleepy classes of seniors. One period in particular is hesitant to have me take over. They are afraid I will give them a lot of work. I think it is a fair fear. Afterall, I do want them to think and learn.

To say I have been obsessing over how I will set the tone for the class is an understatement. Teachers often advise me not to worry about whether they like me or not and to start things off firm. I think that is sound advice, but I am less worried about how they feel about me and more concerned about the classroom environment. I want to make their English class more than a place for worksheets, as well as uninspired and forced conversations. They are at such an exciting age--they are shedding, questioning, and gaining ideas and identities. I want to find a way to foster that and celebrate it. I want to feed their curiosity and make them the focus of the class.

Reading The Stranger is providing me with a great opportunity to do something fun and different. I have spent hours creating this unit. Students will look at existentialism and question how that fits into their belief systems. They will reevaluate the judicial system in terms of society's treatment of Meursault. They will listen to The Cure's "Killing an Arab" and question why popular music would be inspired by the novel. They will read a political commentary on President Bush reading the novel, and determine the use of a novel as a weapon or measure of intellectual status. I even have a clip of Talladega Nights that incorporates the novel.

So as I prepare for tomorrow's lesson, I have feelings of anxiety and anticipation. I am ready to get going and excited to share all of these cool resources I have slaved over. Now I just need to put things into practice. As I said, there is some resistance. After tomorrow's discussion and questionnaire, I will be able to better establish what I need to do to create this dream classroom environment. This is a class that will force me to go back to the drawing board and Fallbrook Library time and time again, and I am okay with that. Every time I scratch something out and find something new, my lessons are getting better and I am learning more about my teaching style.

This unit already looks great on paper, but I have yet to breathe some life into it. I will update as to how it shifts, stutters, and swaggers in motion. More to come.

Starting with Seniors

Teaching juniors last fall was an amazing experience; the students were at a pivotal time in their social lives. They were driving around, going on dates, and searching for ways to make meaning or at least survive the wrath of Huck Finn. I loved these kids and they knew it. Several students wrote me letters of gratitude and these notes have since become true treasures of mine. My favorite was the most unexpected of the bunch; this student was sarcastic and desperate to engage in witty banter. He critiqued me and rolled eyes at the drop of a hat. This is what he wrote:

Dear Miss Clemens,
Thanks for babysitting our class. I know a lot of us, including me, gave you a lot of crap. I just want you to know that your efforts were very appreciated. I actually really like the way you teach. It's not like other teachers when they do it. It feels more personal and I really like the way you do it. Thanks for your time. I know you'll be a successful teacher so good luck to you.

He always did the minimum amount of work, which is in part why I was surprised by his taking time to write me a note. If I could influence such a resistant mind, I could do anything! This note left me feeling empowered. The rest of the notes highlighted my attention to revision and availability after class. One struggling and special English Learner wrote:

I first want to thank you for your hard work. I was able to feel confident every week because you help us a lot.

So there I was with lots of gushy feelings and hugs and goodbyes. I felt accomplished and ready. And then the universe hit me with something harder than I anticipated: for the spring, I would work with another class of juniors (yay!) and...two classes of experienced and indifferent seniors. Yikes!

But even though I know it will be hard, since observing them and working with them in group settings, I know I am up for the challenge. In the past few weeks I have revisited my senior year in photographs, yearbooks, talks with family and friends, andold essays and homework assignments. Here are two things I plan to keep in mind this semester:

-Seniors are adults and children at once.
-They want to be treated as adults sometimes and children others.

Basically, they are walking, talking oxymorons. But as a lover of literary devices, I have to embrace this odd phenomenon. In these classes we will read Stranger and Siddhartha. I am excited to get into the deeper meaning of things and perhaps even give them some ideas to ponder on their way out of childhood and into adulthood. And if this is anything like last semester, they will teach me a thing or two as well.

I can't wait.

Dancing through Teaching

Ever since the universe crashed a reckless driver's car into mine I have been sucked into a most unfortunate and irksome vortex.

However, this experience may have provided me with an important lesson. This car accident occurred 4 days before I was to begin student teaching full-time. Not only that but I had an awkward rental car, a rejected fafsa, and recently deceased cat on my mind...and I had to teach Huck Finn throughout all of it.

It's hard to teach when your personal life is all upside down and inside out but teaching has become a form of escapism. When I teach, it is just me, my students, and sometimes an author. I have loved every second of it. It reminds me of my past life as a dancer, always hungry for the spotlight and ready to show a new trick, to influence or open a mind.

My latest stint at performing was last week when I filmed a lesson for my teaching performance assessment. I was also being observed. I thought it would be awkward but I was unaware of the camera's presence. We discussed appropriate and inappropriate qualities of speaking. We made a t chart and I modeled poor and positive speaking habits. My students were laughing and engaged. Everyone did well on the assignment. My supervisor could not stop raving. It was even better than a roaring applause before a closing curtain.

Watching the film wasn't so bad either except for one glaring flaw...two letters: OK.

I must have said "ok" 3 dozen times! It was a way to check for understanding, an exclamation point, and question mark all at the same time. Every thought-sometimes even a fragment of a thought-was punctuated with "ok."

As an avid writer and past dancer, I am no stranger to that constant, gnawing criticism, doubt, and regret. However, it might not be so bad to go back and rehearse. The show must go on and I have to give it my best. Like a seemingly insignificant unpointed foot or lazy turn, a misplaced comma or lack of parallel structure, my perpetual "ok" is something unnecessary and distracting. It detracts from the meaning of what I am saying and fills the space with a nothing. I am not banning "ok" but I am retracing my steps and becoming more aware of what I say. I love this gig but it is my job to do my best, and at this point it's pretty clear that I still have some rehearsing to do.